Standing at Center Ice

[Herr Drosselmeier]

Standing at Center Ice

Sometimes, I play a game. I imagine that it is hundreds of years in the future and I have long been gone. In this fantasy, I am given the opportunity to return and re-visit a point in this life. When I begin playing, I ask myself, “Is this just an imaginative game, or did it really happen?” There is no way to know.

Playing the game reinforces my appreciation for everything around me. Oh, that is not just my friend sitting quietly in his chair, reading like he always does. That is my dear one. Oh, how I must have missed him when he was gone. How I must have cried and wished for another chance to be with him again. Well, now I have that chance. Right now. “Why am I looking at you like that, dear one? Because I am remembering that I love you. In my rushing and busyness, I used to forget.”

Look, it’s my house and street. Look, my room and old possessions. I can look at them and hold them again. Oh, the air smells sweet, just like I remembered. Oh, how wonderful. Look, I am breathing. How does it feel to breathe? My heart is beating, listen. Listen… birds. Oh, warm sunshine.

I am standing at center ice, now and for always. I am studying. I am taking an exam. My leg is sore from yesterday’s fall. How does soreness feel? Oh yes, like that. Every minute is always.

Love,
M.